The Overlooked

In a conversation I had with my sister, she brought up a very good point I want to share with you. Being born a year apart, we grew up very close. She was sharp and witty, I was quiet and laid back. It’s amazing how some people can have favorites. I remember somebody telling me once that everybody’s entitled to have favorites. Well, maybe in some situations, but we both agreed this should not be done to children. Whether there’s many or just two, the point my sister brought out while analyzing our childhood is that one is not better than the other, just different. In always comparing them, we may uplift one while damaging the confidence in the other, we need to be careful of that. My mother had no favorites, though she managed to treat each one of us according to our individualities, house rules, school rules, discipline to keep us focused on doing the right things and making us aware of what is wrong, influencing to correct bad habits, and minor and major family business were all for all. However, not all family members are like that. We need to be cognizant to those who pick favorites out of our children, we may have to intervene with reassuring them of their specialties and how some people can be unaware of it. How what may be special in some children comes out at different times than others. How that while some are quick and seemingly ahead, others may be seeing a lot more, maybe even a little deeper, though they may not react to it. If we’re not catching on to “different” from one child to the next, time and patience sometimes have better value than comparison, that spontaneous reaction that can be so discouraging it demeans a child’s confidence, that’s not fair, even though sometimes there’s very little time to figure what not to do. Here’s an example of how a cause can roll into affect over a period of time: I can remember during my teen years, when I thought I had to work hard to have friends; sharing, offering gifts, being kinder than they were to me, turning the other cheek, patient and enduring. I didn’t consider at all that I was being too friendly, so I learned in a hard and hurtful way that not many people even deserved my friendship. Some people may need a good friend, but are not aware they”re not putting any effort in returning the friendship. So because I grew up believing I was unacceptable, though what my specialties were, was just overlooked by many, (with the exception of my immediate family of course) I tried harder to be accepted. Children really do need to grow up being sure of themselves. I believe God put something especially unique in every individual he gave life to. Like my sister said, “one is not better than the other, just different.”

Peace & Grace People

Author: Cosima

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