As I lay back relaxed in the calm of my thoughts I remember the moment I saw the darkness of evil to be like parasites seeking to enter the human psyche and emotional state, feeding off our troubles, our weaknesses, sorrows and pain, and our imperfections. It’s not really our fault that we’ve been cursed with such a malevolent presence, we’re genetically inclined. Yet we do have a naturally positive state of being, to do good. That’s why the moment it became affective, God launched his plan. We’re not born asking for this character of challenge that causes us to war inside ourselves with so many clever tricks, tempting desires, and with so much determination toward destruction. It’s not a gift, but a curse. I believe if we all had a choice we’d choose to be born only with good, no evil. Of course then, we’d all be strong enough before the chance to experience its ability to prosper in pleasures of the worldly dreams of life, and the designs thereof that have been created for the love of money. However, without the knowledgeable desire to gain in reasons for God’s purpose and plan, deception is sure to eventually defeat us out of what divine gifts await our souls, you know, that precious energy of life that motivates our materialistic bodies to exist for a time. Darkness is powerful and we can not defeat it without the help of God. Got a clue about God? Pursue it, or seek until you find it. At least for the sake of soul survival, focus.
Personally, I know I couldn’t have made it this far in life without the love, miracles and blessings of God. My goodness, I do know that much about my life. How I’ve fought many challenges and lost. Even now I lift my face and I see the glow of life still prominent when I look into the mirror. The Holy Spirit is my shield, slowly it strengthens and I feel stronger; how I did not drown in my bad experiences, how when my health failed, it didn’t finish me, how much love got hurt but through it all reigned eminent capacity to perform its other many facets. From a melting heart, a severed hope, a dream grown vague, into a refreshed heart, an ascending hope and a new paved avenue of the same foundation of dreams, more fitting and as fulfilling. Oh, and how this all prepares my vision of other people; to be a better listener, more affectionate, patiently enduring, better at forgiving, even passive to the fact no one is perfect as we all may try to be, but encouraging understanding of struggles by inspiring that God wants us to be happy in this life as well. We need to be patient in our faith.
Allowing us to make our own decisions and choices, while sometimes the wrong decisions can make us think we don’t have his attention but Jesus is always there, watching, waiting for us to accept his guidance, waiting even for us to decide to lift our head above whatever issue’s we face and struggle with, some we caused, some we didn’t, but his hand is waiting for our grasp, that he may lift us into the way forward.
I can not deny faith, I’ve depended on it. I can not deny belief, it has proven itself to me. I can not deny God’s love, I fully understand what gifts God has offered. I am not perfect, never was, no matter how bad imperfect can be. It is still the Holy Spirit that keeps me going forward. It has never been an overnight process, I’m still growing, learning, developing, I don’t believe there is a finish to it all anyway, and I have an appetite for wanting to do better. What else is growing more and more important is, how much it all matters.