Smothered?

Check this out. Being an independent individual has it’s values and pleasures. Being able to depend mostly on oneself for the majority of your personal wants; sheltered life, fun time, special events, sound comfort and privacy. One doesn’t have to live alone to have that, many obtain these pleasures, sharing home-life under a roof with others, because that’s how it’s tolerable.  But inside your personal inhabitant, you’re the boss, the decision maker, your taste for art, the color scheme, furnished design and entertainment.   Set in your ways, you live comfortably, roomy, and is capable of having very little disturbances.

Such advantages can be a problem meeting someone  more independent than you, or to the contrary of higher maintenance, and like you, set in their ways also. Contrary to what you’re used to: someone who is used to sharing a lot, depends on constant communication, and is not used to lengthy gaps between contact, always open to share decisions and like to finalize on second opinions, feeling better closure with an agreeable approval, and is most likely  content in their ways. I believe when people get older they are more settled in their ways, but, they’ve matured better in accepting differences in other peoples ways. Mostly. Within the distance between what two people should or may not have in common,  expectations are more calmly dealt with.  That is, if a particular kind of immaturity didn’t develop as well, in such warp perspectives, from such crazy experiences.  I know what bad experiences can do to the mind, and the heart to good people, but we must continue to move forward.

The confusion between two people trying to get along with little in common, to me, can create issues. There can be misjudgment, unnecessary doubts, fears, distrust, displeasure, and well needed attitude adjustments, because some people are merciless in their verbiage, going on unnecessarily. Some people are not just disapproving to being or feeling smothered, they’re not used to it, and may be impulsively uncanny in handling it. “Ah!, new person. Don’t know you.” If you really like someone you don’t want to push them away feeling hurt. You don’t want them to feel like they’re a pessimist either. Take the time  to explain yourself.  Find a way to let them know and understand how you are, and how you’d like to communicate and share your time.

However, if Cinderella or Mr. Right just happen to show up, and suddenly you find yourself operating in the opposite condition, anxious, making room to be open to give and get attention, excited to change your schedule, promptly moving everything and anyone out of the way.  Are you in love?  Who are you now?  Are you even aware there is a difference?  Was this a ninety degree sudden change, or just a temporary motivation?  And when the excitement is over………..?

All kinds of people in the world hey?  I believe we can help each understand, truthfully. Though some truth may be uneasy or a bit disappointing to know, it helps eliminate confusion. What’s wrong with being sure we understand one another, nobody’s perfect?  It’s an unrewarding discomfort experience being confused about someone.  Even Paul the Profit said in II Thess 2: 10 & 11 because they received not the love of the truth, that they might be saved. And for this cause God shall send them a strong delusion, that they should believe a lie. This to me has a familiar allegory.  Also John 8:32 And ye shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free. So what’s wrong with sharing what’s true about how we better appreciate being dealt with?  It may open our eyes to see more positive possibilities that we may find adjustable.

Author: Cosima

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