Listen Much? How Well?

We can listen to a babies groan, grunt or when they just seem to be making fussy noises, as if they’re complaining, and we can pick up from the expression in their faces that comes with it, their possible discomfort.  Then we know to try something: sit them up, turn them over, change their diaper, or simply think of something to do with them to take them out of that discomfort.  Fact is, we listened, we paid our undivided attention.   As they get slightly older, when they’re trying to communicate not having the ability to form whole words, it’s very difficult and frustrating to the parent not having the ability to interpret what they’re trying to say.   It is even more difficult for the baby feeling short of accomplishing it.   I know for a fact they know what it is they want, but just can’t express it.   I can remember that far back, a situation I had myself, knowing what I was thinking but not knowing how to relate it.  It was so important.  I want to stop here and thank God for being our help in these situations, though many of us aren’t even aware of how much God is in our lives. It’s even funny how kids only a few months apart in age can understand perfectly what they’re trying to say. Ever tried getting that kind of interpreter?  I did, and it worked.

This is a not so good experience I’ve had a hard time growing up from that I’d like to share, maybe to help someone else see a little different in such situations.  I found in all learning the most significant point in its growth is the ability to be able to be a good listener.  Many of us go through those periods of lacking in good listening, which sometimes brings more damage to the situation we’re in. From childhood through adult ages, we lack.  Some of us get better at it, and some are hard to be better at it.  More determined to suggest our own perception to be heard, forcing our words over what comes out of their mouths, we dominate, mostly because of impatience think we can better express what they’re trying to say, especially to those who are slower at getting their point across than we want to tolerate.  They may be too wordy, or may even have a minor speech deficiency, however, the most important thing is our ability to be patient, tolerant, and with an undivided attention to listen.  While at this point, I’d like to mention;  why hasn’t education advanced to the opportunity of  allowing students who’d like to volunteer to have sign language classes part of their English programming?   Many children may want to learn this, maybe just to know how, in case they need to communicate better with a family member or friend, or stranger, or any emergency situation when needed.   I wish I could have picked it up while being educated in school.   I believe it’s something better to have access to while growing up, than learning after it’s needed.  Anyway, it takes a powerful will to become a good listener.   I’ve been on both ends before, especially the self-centered end, and believe me, it’s more attractive to any good speaker who also listens well to be communicating with another good listener.  Communication is at its top best in such conditions.

I know how nerve-wrecking it can seem to be, to hear somebody out that’s making you feel like getting their point across is more like watching someone slowly trying to peel a huge apple with a tiny pocket knife while you both hunger.  Because of your frustrating impatience you may definitely be missing points between the connecting lines, and the scope they’re trying to gather up before the magnitude explosion of what is major, has left your thoughts scattered abroad because you didn’t listen well.  Some people take a little more patience and calm than others.  Please don’t say anything to ruin the confidence in their ability to communicate, and don’t interrupt their train of thought, they will eventually get better at speaking, especially when knowing they will be heard so they think better with patience.  What, you didn’t know people can tell when you’re distracted or not interested enough to hear what they have to say?  Yes they can tell.  Please allow them to finish, because meantime, you’re becoming a better listener.

Sometimes if you have the ability to decipher all the major points of what they’ve said, and say it back to them, they’re sure you have heard them fully, they appreciate it, and it causes them to be attracted to your ability to shorten the choice of words it took for them to express themselves.  I have always been attracted to those who can as well, and I myself, have always wondered just how much more intelligent I had to be to be able to get the full scope of my point across with fewer common words, even than I’m able to do now.  Wish I was the best at it.  It can definitely hold a persons interest better than most.  Whether it’s our children, our friends, colleagues, teachers, or complete strangers, sometimes all people need is a good listener.  They may not even need our advice, just someone to hear them out.

Peace and Grace people.


Author: Cosima

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