Forgot About This One

A long time ago I sort of felt like I wasn’t really asleep. I remember how it seemed like I was fighting to stay awake. I knew my eyes were wide open and I wasn’t sleepy at all. I was dreaming. There was nothing but space in front of me, dark and empty. It wasn’t the darkness I was in fear of, I felt like there was something behind me. Feeling hesitant to turn around, I knew I must, I had to see what it was. Compelled, I turned to take a look. What I saw was an endless wall full of black holes. All through space on one side of me was this wall that looked like black holes forever. They were appearing and disappearing in certain places at a time, but it was certainly a wall of them extending as far ahead as my eyes could reach. I then looked up only to see it had endless height. I looked down and saw the same. I thought, why am I seeing this? Suddenly it occurred to me either I was being drawn closer to it, or it was moving closer to me. I fought and struggled to come out of that dream. When I finally escaped it, I just went into another dream. Not often do I remember moving from one dream to another, I do remember having more than one dream at times, I also remember having felt some kind of relief having another dream to go to. Weird? Maybe the relief in part, was that I had control of my thoughts or my dreams to some extent. Great! I’ll take that. Strange though, how only last night did I remember ever having this dream. I could do that sometimes. This I do know about me. I close out of my memory thoughts I never wanted to playback again. Shut myself off from things hurtful, or so tragic, too awful and I didn’t want to keep, as if it was not qualified to be a part of my collection. Not all, but some. But this one, it’s as if it fell off a dusty shelf where I stored the unwanted, just to be remembered. Wonder why. I once heard something about black holes on the Discovery channel: it was said that they believe these black holes only keep what they need that strengthens them, and the rest they devour. Reminds me of how love in it’s purest state is the purifier, which means nothing impure can enter, or simply that all that enter is cleansed.

Author: Cosima

Leave a Reply